"THE END"s and Other Scary Things

In the past 31 days I have written THREE "The End"s. (Insert obligatory "I need a nap" Garfield image)

On October 31st, right before Nanowrimo started, I finished up Draft 2 of Bulletproof. I knew this draft had tons of problems, but I was also SO GLAD to be done with it. It needed help, but it wasn't something I could figure out on my own. So after a few days of panicking I bit the bullet and sent it out to my amazing beta readers. And their comments back so far have been AMAZING. Big changes are coming, but I feel like I have a plan for Draft 3. (How is this possible? Usually I'm SCRAMBLING to figure out what needs fixing, ready to rip a whole draft apart and rewrite everything... the short answer is, I don't know. Maybe it's that I'm getting better at drafting. Maybe it's that I spent almost a whole year on it, and so I've actually gotten more ironed out than I thought. Or maybe it's just kismet - magic - the muses decided to smile upon me!)

On November 30th, I wrote "The End" for Belmy & Orion. This is the space opera enemies-to-lovers story that I started working on last Nanowrimo. The 30,000ish words I added to this draft this year were not pretty. They definitely suffered from having a year gap in between. But they are words, and they are there. As the popular writing adage goes: You can't edit a blank page! So now I’ll let this draft sit… and see when I feel like dragging it out and editing the starlight out of it.

The surprise "The End" was the one I wrote December 5th (today!) for The Soul Menagerie. This is the story I’ve been affectionately calling Pokemon meets Hunger Games. I did not expect to finish this draft in November, nor this year. I thought it would languish half-written until I gave myself permission to finish it sometime in 2020. But instead, I decided to keep going, even though Nanowrimo was over. And I wanted to continue. At the end of November, I’d left the characters in the middle of the climax. After seeing how that had gone with Belmy & Orion, I thought I owed it to my main character Aidan to finish it. It's not perfect. It will need copious amounts of rewriting. But it's here, and it's ready to edit whenever I want to return to it. (Soon, probably… this one feels like a solid draft, the way Bulletproof did… excite!)

As I look at 2020 (with the hope that it will turn out EONS better than 2019), I'm setting my goals high. I might fail, but that's okay. Every step forward is progress, even if it feels like it's not.

So 2020 - Querying Bulletproof is at the top of this list. I hope I can finish Draft 3 by June, or at least by the LATEST August, when the next Pitch Wars will happen.

I need to finish the first 20 pages for a critique I signed up for at a Boston convention - a different one from the one I’ve been attending for the last three years. This one is much more writing focused, whereas Boskone is more about fandom. Both have their purposes, and I’m looking forward to both conventions.

Then in between/ after Pitch Wars… Let the querying commence.

For now, I’m going to sit back on my laurels for a day or two… sipping some well-earned hot chocolate… and then jump eagerly into the next project.

2018 Musings and 2019 Goals

I’ve tried to write an update a number of times over the past year, but always ended up getting waylaid along the way. Lots has happened in my life, good and bad, and I won’t be able to touch on all of it in this blog post, so here are some of the highlights (and lowlights):

We lost our oldest cat in late October 2017. Yes, the one that has graced my blog posts and the one that used to sit on my manuscripts when I was trying to write. Cali was a very sweet cat and her companionship will be dearly missed.

In June, I also lost my grandfather. He was so supportive and kind, always there and always willing to help, whether advice or (in my younger, college-bound years, with money). It’s been hard but I think Grandma and I have grown closer after his passing. I tend to write heavy things, so those two losses have really impacted my writing. There were a few scenes that were much harder to write than anticipated, because of this, but I think things have been slowly returning to a steady place. Just got to get through the holidays and then it’ll be smooth sailing for a while.

I finished Arkaya, Draft 5, in June, right around the time that grandpa started getting really sick. There’s a few things I could change and edit in it, but I really think it’s good enough (and the thought of doing ANOTHER draft has me crying and eyeing the pile of dirty dishes with enthusiasm, so…).

And following that, I ended up submitting to the Pitch Wars competition. Pitch Wars is an incredible competition where you submit your query letter, synopsis, and first # pages to mentors (other authors in the business, mostly) who, if you are chosen as a mentee, will help you revise it and get it the best it can be. Working on the query letter and synopsis was a terrible experience, although to be fair I don’t know of any writer that actually enjoys writing their own query letters… Dreadful things, those!

But when I didn’t get into Pitch Wars: I STARTED QUERYING ARKAYA! As of this morning, I’ve sent queries to 14 agents. I don’t know how many I will send, but for now I’m slowly working through the list of agents I’ve accumulated. Querying is very much a hurry-up-and-wait experience. You can hear nothing for weeks, or you can get three query rejections in a single day (I don’t recommend that last part, it was not fun). You definitely want to have a new shiny project in the wings while you’re querying - something to numb the pain of all that rejection!

So, that leads us to November, and NaNoWriMo! I had been working on a few other projects in between June and November, but most of my attention was on getting ready for Pitch Wars. I hadn’t written anything NEW in nearly a year, since the last NaNoWriMo, and I was eager to get back into it.

So I set a ridiculous goal for myself… and as you can see by the fancy chart below, I knocked that goal out of the park! (Well, more the goal crawled over the finish line with me on Nov. 30 but hey.)

Yes, I did 150,000 words in November! (150,051 words, to be precise… but who’s counting?) I finished Culled early during the second week, and then wrote a few scenes of Bulletproof (more on Bulletproof in a minute!) but after finishing Culled, I focused on a completely new project, tentatively called The Stars Lead Me to You. I’ve been referring to it as Captive Prince meets Ancillary Justice - enemies to lovers trapped in a no-win situation in deep space. I wrote about 3/4ths of the story in November, and hope I’ll be able to complete the first draft at some point soon. (If not, there’s always NaNoWriMo 2019!)

But now that I’ve recovered from NaNoWriMo… it’s Bulletproof time. I started working on Bulletproof Draft 2 in between querying for Arkaya - I’m adding a whole flashback arc. I’m aiming to finish Draft 2 by June 2019, to get it ready for Pitch Wars at the end of August.

This is an amazing commission I got for Bulletproof, featuring Larodia and her best friend Corteo, who is missing at the start of Bulletproof Book 1.

So that’s where I’m at - going to continue querying Arkaya through the middle of 2019, hopefully finish up Bulletproof in time for Pitch Wars… and then, we’ll see! :)

Time to get back to writing!

Happenings

It's been a while since my last post. Things have been pretty scattered and frantic for the past few months... In real life, we are trying to get some work done on the house. Organizing the mortgage meetings and the contractors and realtors and everything else has taken up way too much time, and doesn't look like it's going to let up anytime soon. The seasons are changing also, which is leaving me with a bad case of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I am of the unpopular opinion that Autumn sucks... (and pumpkin spice everything is overrated!) Give me 90 degrees and sunlight every day. I also fell into a new favorite game. Nier:Automata has taken up rather too much of my time over the last month or two. It's wonderful and heartbreaking and it really took me for a ride I wasn't expecting. 

In writerly news: Bulletproof made it into the top 3 in the Master Category with Ink and Insights! This means that I'm going to the agent round. There are 6 or 7 agents who will read and critique the top three entries and vote on which entry gets first, second, or third place. This is an amazing opportunity - getting my writing in front of agents at this point is such an amazing feeling (and of course, a little horrifying as well!). They have the option to reach out after the competition and work with the writers if they are interested. I haven't heard anything about the rankings yet, but there's still plenty of time for them to reach a decision. 

I also made the Judges' Favorite list, which means that 3 of my 4 judges thought Bulletproof was their favorite entry out of everything they'd read during the competition! I had a really great score, and I want to thank the judges for all their hard work and commentary, as well as the person running this competition.

But my favorite part of the competition were the comments from the judges. They all had some insightful things to say and specific critiques that made so much sense. I'm still processing the information they provided, and it will definitely make this story and my writing shine so much! I'm so glad that I entered and grateful for the comments they gave me. Several of them pointed out places where I could apply that old writing adage, "Show Don't Tell", and I think my writing will be a lot stronger going forward because of their valuable insight. 

(This comment in particular had me squealing with delight.... "I really enjoyed the mesh of Steampunk, Fantasy, and Western elements. Lots of authors have produced some combination of these genres, but it's rare that you get all three in one project. A gunslinging succubus, traveling with her adopted brother who's also a baby magical tinker? That's not something you see every day, but I would immediately buy a book with that on the jacket copy." SQUEE~)

On the actual writing front... not so much has happened. After finishing Bulletproof back in May, I dabbled in a few other projects. I worked for about a month on Sword, then I worked for another month on Arkaya, and in between I was working on "The Mechnician's Son", a novella prequel to Bulletproof. At the moment, I'm working on plotting Culled, my next first draft. I'm also starting edits of Bulletproof, leading up to Draft 2 at some point in the next couple of months (either during or after NaNoWriMo). I'm very excited for Bulletproof Draft 2 - I'm planning on adding some backstory scenes to highlight Corteo and Larodia's friendship. 

On the horizon - 2018 is going to be the Year of Finishing All The Things. (Well, at least a couple of them.) My focus next year will be Arkaya Draft 5, Bulletproof Draft 2, and Sword Draft 2. And maybe another first draft. I've also got an older story called Dragonsoul which needs a rewrite, but it has taken a backseat to some of my stronger stories. 

For now, I'm sitting in front of my sunlamp, drinking mango peach green tea, and putting the Nier Automata soundtrack on repeat. It's a wonderful day off and I'm going to get back to editing. 

Bulletproof Worldbuilding Musings

I've been working on the first draft of Bulletproof (Book 1 in my new western/ steampunk/ fantasy series) for over four months now, and the end is quickly approaching. The first draft is currently speeding past 103,000 words, and it'll likely be done within the week. In light of this, I thought I would talk about some of the more interesting parts of the current setting. 

In this world, there are four kingdoms with four very different cultures and beliefs. In some of the countries, succubi (and other magical beings, collectively called the mythicana) are considered unholy demons, and must be eliminated. In others, they are barely tolerated. The main character of the series, Larodia, is a succubus, and keeps her powers hidden for fear of banishment or imprisonment. 

Bulletproof is set in the gritty, wild-west city of Stresta, where men and women walk around with revolvers on their hips. There is order (in the form of constables and lawmen), but there is also chaos. It's not uncommon to find bandits and ruffians within the city, although most people can walk around without fear for their safety, if they stay within the more proper areas. 

Steampunk is not something I'm very familiar with, so it was kind of a surprise when my characters led me here. For those unfamiliar, steampunk is defined by urbandictionary.com as: "a subgenre of speculative fiction, usually set in an anachronistic Victorian or quasi-Victorian alternate history setting. It could be described by the slogan 'What the past would look like if the future had happened sooner.'" 

Stresta, as with most cities in the kingdom of Renais, is powered by what the people call "twist" technology - energy is communicated by a series of crankshafts and gears buried underground, with access points spread throughout the city. Lights and basic mechanical systems are all powered from these cranks, much as electricity runs through modern society, vastly unnoticed except for power outages. The crankshaft is powered by the nearby river, and supplemented with steam. 

There is also a secondary source of "power" in Stresta - that of charms, created by highly specialized Mechnicians. These are small trinkets powered from gemstones, and proliferate the populace in many different ways. There are protection charms, which defend the aura and provide vitality and strength. Communication charms act as modernized tin can phones, except much more effective. There are charms that act as GPS, and charms that can hurt, and even charms that control basic robots. The possibilities are endless, and one of the side characters in Bulletproof - Owin, an eleven year old adventurer - is the son of a Mechnician, hoping to follow in his father's boots one day. 

The world is constantly evolving as I write and explore it. I've learned so much about the three other countries through this draft, and I'm very much looking forward to exploring them all in the subsequent books in the series. Right now I'm planning one book per country. And yes, one book will feature dragons! Because dragons make everything better. :) 

Boskone Convention and Motivation

This weekend I attended the Boskone convention in Boston, MA. It is an annual Science Fiction and Fantasy convention where fans and writers alike come together to celebrate books and fandom. It was an incredible experience, and one I highly recommend to any writer in the area, published or unpublished. There were something like 200+ programs that you could attend, including author readings and meet-and-greet, discussions about advances in science and technology, and (the ones I focused on) conversations with authors, editors, and agents about all aspects of the business of writing. 

The panels I attended included: 

From Rapiers to Ray Guns, a discussion between knowledgeable writers on how to use technology effectively in your story. 

Design Your Own Mythology, a discussion on how to create well-rounded religions and draw inspiration from existing cultures. 

Contracts and Talking Terms, talking about agent and publishing contracts and the common clauses and terms you want to look out for. (This was the most informative - I took a page of notes and it really answered a bunch of my questions about contracts, for when the time comes!) 

I also attended two of award-winning author Brandon Sanderson's discussions. One was a discussion of his early inspirations and his career, and one was a more fan-based program where he read excerpts from his upcoming book. He is one of my favorite authors, and an amazing inspiration to me! When I found out he was going to be there, I HAD to go. (The one picture I took at the convention was of him signing a book!) In a brief conversation over the three books I'd brought for him to sign, he told me to own my writing and to keep on practicing and honing my writing skills. It was incredibly encouraging! 

I also met another writer (Sarah Beth Durst) who I'd never heard of before this convention. Her books sounded right up my alley, and we had a pleasant discussion about writing from the early stages (where I am) to the published stage (where she was). She told me something I never expected to hear: "It gets easier." She's got something like ten books published so far, and has been writing for a long time. Her first 5-6 books were never published but she just kept going, kept pushing new stories out and eventually she learned what works for her and what doesn't, and she has an arsenal of tools at her disposal for when she gets stuck on a tough plot problem, or an errant character, or on world-building. Talking with her was so inspiring! 

After the convention, I've found my own motivation to continue writing has been really enhanced. I feel like things are turning around for me, and this was just the thing I needed to push through to the next level. I've even thought about what I want to do with Arkaya, Draft 5. There's nothing concrete yet, but I feel like the wheels are churning in my head, both about my current project and about my next (previous) one. 

I'm already marking my calendar for the 2018 Boskone convention! It was a wonderful experience I won't soon forget. 

Setting the Old Aside

It's been a difficult month (and a half) since I sent out Arkaya Draft 4 to my critique partners. When I ended I was on a high, feeling like it was the best thing I've ever written (which it may well be). And then I moved on to planning out Larodia's story. I wanted to try plotting, figuring out the characters before I committed to writing the story. That went well, even though I had some stops and starts. I bought a few books-about-writing that were very helpful, and I found a fascinating series on character development that was really interesting. (Link to that amazing blog by K.M. Weiland here)

So planning was going well - and then for whatever reason, it started feeling too much. I call myself a hybrid of planner and pantser (fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants-er, to be precise). I like to plan a little bit, but it's when the characters move me that the real magic happens. Planning, I've discovered, works to a certain point - and then I have to start writing. I'd originally thought I would plan until April, but a few weeks ago I had to start writing. I felt I knew the characters well enough that doing anything else with them would be counter-intuitive. Writing the messy, plot-hole-dotted first draft is where the characters come to life, at least for me. 

The writing's been happening. I'm currently at 9,000 words and on scene 5. True to form, Larodia has already taken the plot off the rails. But in a good way. She's being active and driven, reaching for her goals, coming alive. She still feels like the strong-willed, opinionated person who stormed into my dreams and demanded her story be told. 

And to top it all off, the comments are coming in on Arkaya. Overall, they are positive. Everyone seems to enjoy my worldbuilding, which was unexpected but makes me smile. But the things I need to work on are coming to light. I knew it wasn't perfect. I knew it had flaws when I sent it out! And of course I want my critique partners to find all those flaws so that I can improve it. But it's always going to be hard when you put this much time and energy into a project. I've been working on Arkaya, on and off, for at least 10 years.

This is a phase of writing I've never really gotten to before - feeling like the story is "complete", and sending it out for feedback. When I get that feedback, though, I'm not sure what to do with it. Some of it makes sense, and I 1000% agree with it. But other parts of it hurt, or make me want to run away in panic. This is a project that's been with me forever, so it's hard to see its flaws. And of course there's the kind but honest comments that get under your skin and rip your self-confidence to shreds. (You screwed that up, my brain says, therefore you're the Worst Writer Ever.) They turned into an obsession, and for a couple of weeks, they stalled out my motivation. 

Somehow, I separated myself from the comments and am letting them percolate in my subconscious. My next draft will be better and stronger for it, no matter what I decide to do with those comments. I read something a while ago that said that the comments you rage against resonate within you for a reason. You've thought about it, too, and now that someone else has pointed it out, it makes sense.

Critique is something that every writer has to deal with. My writing can never be perfect, and my critique partners are amazing and really helpful! They aren't doing this malignantly - they are there to help, and I firmly believe that. I'm very honored with everyone who has offered to read my story, and grateful for everything they tell me.

Even when it hurts. 

Especially when it hurts. 

For now, I'm setting Arkaya aside, and focusing on Larodia's first draft. My plans are to go back to Arkaya after April Camp Nano, once I've collected all the commentary. Delving back into first draft writing (my favorite kind, I've discovered) will bring back my self-confidence, and if nothing else, it reminds me what I love about writing. So I'm setting the old aside, and moving forward to the new. At least for now. 

What Comes Next

At 4pm on December 31st, I completed Arkaya Draft 4. It ended at 124,220 words, according to Scrivener - Microsoft Word dropped the total wordcount to 121k. I actually feel good about it! Since finishing Draft 3 a month and a half ago, I put in well over 100 hours editing this thing. I went through maybe a hundred problems, from large items that impacted nearly every one of my 53 scenes, to smaller items that only hit a couple of sentences. I also rewrote almost 40k words in the first 16 or so scenes - the piece of Draft 3 that I wrote in 2015. 

Cali shows my mood pretty well, after that final push - I was exhausted when I finished. 

Arkaya Draft 4 is out to 6 people for commentary (including the Manuscript critique I won from the Ink & Insights competition last year) and I've got a "lot" of spare time on my hands. Time to fill it with other things: 

I bought myself a video game (Dishonored 2) back in November, and forbade myself from playing it until I was done. The game, which is actually a sequel, included the first one as a digital copy, so I started playing that this weekend. It's a lot of fun, and I've forgotten how much I enjoyed such an immersive world. It's gritty and gruesome but I love it! 

Another thing I've been holding off on doing was reading about writing. I'm planning on reading several books I've collected over the last month: a book on outlining (more on that later), Publishing 101 by Jane Friedman, Author in Progress by the wonderful collaborators at Writer Unboxed, and the 2017 Writer's Market. I've been looking for ways to improve my craft, but I didn't want to mess with it while editing Arkaya. Now I'm "free" and can explore! 

And of course, I've been thinking about my next project. I've got a Fantasy Romance novella that I've been playing around with for a few months, that I will be adding to, but my big push for the next three months will be getting Larodia's story outlined and ready for the first draft. Historically I have been mostly a discovery writer (aka a pantser, for those familiar with Nanowrimo). My first drafts generally come together in a flash of badly-written words, tossed at the page. They need Total rewrites. (Arkaya went through 2 total rewrites, and the 4th draft was maybe a half-rewrite). A dear writing buddy recently did a month of planning for her draft before she wrote it in November, and her results (a first draft that she doesn't think needs a total overhaul(!)) have encouraged me to try it as well. I don't know how much outlining I can handle before it starts choking the life out of the story, but I'm going to give it my best shot. I'm hoping to write the first draft of Larodia's Book 1 in April. And maybe Book 2, if I can get that properly outlined. 

Once the comments start coming in on Arkaya, I'll be sorting through those. My rough plan with Arkaya is to start sending it out to agents by the end of 2017. That may change, but I think it's a reasonable goal. 

But for now, I'm basking in the glow of having finished a draft, and just letting my writer-mind recover. (And trying not to get too worked up over the fact that six people are now reading my writing.... Eeek!) 

Arkaya Draft 3 Completion

A commission of Arkaya working on her spaceship by Zet, one of my friends on Twitter.

Two days ago, I finished draft 3 of Arkaya! It came in at 131,016 words over 53 scenes, and it took me about four months to get through this draft.

This is one of my longest-lived original stories. Arkaya, my alien MC, first appeared during my college days. This story was my 2011 NaNoWriMo project (NaNoWriMo, for those unfamiliar, is National Novel Writing Month, where the aim is to write 50,000 words in a month), and I spent six months in 2014 completing the first and second drafts. Since then, I've set this story aside to work on other things... but I recently picked it back up. 

At its heart, Arkaya's story still speaks to me. With the help of her human boyfriend, heir to a large spacecraft company, and her elder sister, who is still upset that Arkaya left home four years ago, she is fighting to protect the guardian spirits of her people from being stolen away. It deals with magic (in the form of alien mind-powers, and the mystical bond between the alien soul and their past lives), and a secret that everyone is willing to kill for. 

Yesterday and today I was feeling that cluster of emotions I've affectionately termed the "Post Draft Slump". Whenever I finish a draft or a story, I feel weird and uncomfortable for a few days. But now, I'm jumping right into Draft 4. Draft 4 has a semi-arbitrary deadline - I want to get it done by December 17th, to send in for the full-manuscript critique I won in the Ink and Insights competition. (I'll also be sending it out to my incredibly supportive beta readers... and reading it aloud to my husband for his commentary.) I'm nervous and excited to get it "done", although part of me doesn't think I can actually complete it in one month and a few days. 

But as I prepared Draft 3 for a print-out, I noticed a lot of encouraging things. I feel like I've gotten better at this whole writing thing. (Which is both awesome and terrifying!) The story is taking shape, and the characters are becoming more themselves. I am also starting to see the ways I can improve the next draft. I'm going to start a master list of problems, and check them off one by one over the next month. 

Maybe Draft 4 will be something I can feel proud of, when it's done. I know I'll be proud of all the work I've put into it. 

If nothing else, I've given my four-legged writing companion Cali something new to sit on. She's been hanging out with me a lot today as I started to read through the draft... hopefully she approves! :) 

A Series of Firsts

This blog post is the culmination of a strange series of firsts, I think. 

My first serious attempt at writing was fanfiction - featuring a self-insert Star Wars character I wrote with my step-sisters, a long long time ago (in a galaxy far far away). From there, Harry Potter caught my imagination, and dragged me into the fandom community (I wrote an alternate Book 5 while waiting for Book 5 to be released). 

My first original characters were mostly troubled teenagers in fantastic worlds, driven to do great things by circumstances and their own desires. At the core of what I write, my characters are still this - just a little older, and perhaps a little wiser. A lot of my characters have been with me for at least ten years. But through the years, my desire to write and create has only grown stronger. 

I first decided to take writing seriously two years ago... to see if I could keep myself writing every day, every week, every month. Along the way I made some great writing buddies (another first!), finished my first second draft, and wrote way too many words. 

Last year, I requested my first commission of an original character... and seeing one of my oldest creations come to life on the page in a different way was amazing. 

I got my first writing room (a spare bedroom my husband graciously helped me clear out and decorate)... my own space to create and develop. 

Then my first submission to the writer's competition, Ink & Insights... my first real commentary from judges... then the big one, taking First Place in the Apprentice Category (I'm still so thrilled about this!).

And now... my first blog post on my first website. I know I've got a long way to go still, before I get to my ultimate goal of getting published... but I'm a lot closer than I was two years ago. I'm so grateful for the opportunities I've been given, and the people I've met and befriended along the way. I hope to share many more firsts with them.

But for now I think I'll just sit back and enjoy what I've accomplished so far. (And continue to write.) In a couple of months I hope to have a first Draft 3 to celebrate!